The Awesome Guide to Life by Jason Ellis

Author:Jason Ellis [Ellis, Jason]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780062270160
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2014-02-15T05:00:00+00:00

7

HOW TO BE A BOYFRIEND

NOW THAT YOU’VE BEEN GETTING around out there and having more mind-blowing sex than your poor overworked penis can possibly handle, you might start thinking it’s time to mellow out a bit and get a girlfriend.

I have been in a ton of relationships over the years. I would like to say that some were good and some were bad. But really, they were all bad—some of the times I was just matched up with good people. Being in a relationship with me is an emotional roller coaster. There are very high highs and very low lows. I would like to think the girls I’ve been in extended relationships with might have found themselves a little bit as a result of being with me. Maybe they were going to do that anyway. But I’ve accomplished a lot of things with my life, and I think seeing the way I get things done may have rubbed off on them. Also, I can get them Twitter followers. But that’s pretty much where the benefits of dating me end.

If a relationship is what you truly want, and you think you’ve found the right chick, then I say go for it. But before things get too far along, ask yourself what your true motivation is. Is it because that’s what your parents want? Or because that’s what you see everybody doing on TV? Is it because you reached a certain age and then decided it was time to grow up and get serious?

Or maybe, has a chick that you’re seeing informed you that it’s time for you and her to be boyfriend and girlfriend? In general, girls are more sensible than dudes. But deep down most of them still want that fairy-tale relationship. It’s like they’re raised to feel that way. They meet a guy, and then they start to fall in love with him, and then, after a certain amount of time, if that guy doesn’t get with the program, then that guy’s an asshole. Her parents and her friends hate him. Maybe his parents and his friends think he’s being a dick, too. And so the guy just goes along with it.

But you’ve got to be careful about doing things for other people. Even if you have good intentions, there’s a huge chance that’s not going to work out for anyone. You can’t live your life for everybody else. That’s how Ricky Martin almost ended up getting married to a woman.

In my opinion, relationships are not for everybody. Maybe you just like living by yourself. Tons of people are like that. Not everybody rolls the same way. And nobody knows you better than you.

Looking back, I wish I had spent more time by myself when I was a young guy. When you’re young, that’s the best window you’re ever going to get to grow as a person and get to know who you really are. And I’m not talking about spending all your time trying to bro down with your dude friends or playing Nintendo for eight hours a day.

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